


Jacaranda Trees

by ObNOXious



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A lot of my OCs make cameos, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Artist Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Dragons, Drug Use, Evan has a lot of forest expertise, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jared Kleinman Eats Bath Bombs, M/M, Mild Language, My First Work in This Fandom, References to other musicals, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags May Change, mentions of boyf rends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-05-29 08:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15069200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObNOXious/pseuds/ObNOXious
Summary: On the day Evan "fell" from the tree he found a friend. For the first time in many years Evan did not feel alone in the world. But no one can know of his friend's existence, for the safety of Evan and his friendWhen Connor Murphy steals one of Evan's letters, Evan finds his secret might be reveled to the world





	1. Prologue pt 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first official work heere! This is the first part of the prologue! The prologue was originally going to be a giant chapter but I decided to split it up. This is probably the shortest chapter i'm going to post in this work so don't worry. This is also my first work for Deh! so the characters might be a little off.  
> I hope you enjoy the story! 
> 
> TW: Suicide attempt, mention of panic attack

Evan was on the ground his arm numb. All he can think of is finding the tallest tree ( a recently dead bur oak, about 80 feet tall),climbing as far up as he could and jumping from the branch. He closed his eyes his mind spiraling into its usual anxious mess. Before he knew it Evan was plunged into a panic attack. He laid under the tree for a long time not even trying to deal with it. After the panic attack was over he just laid under the tree silently hoping someone would find him on the ground and at least get him to the hospital.

“Anytime now, someone will find me” Evan repeated. sometimes in his sometime out loud

Evan eventaly closed his eyes letting tears escape. Then he felt a weight on his chest. Someone came! Evan opened his eyes instead of a person it was a weird looking snake. It was blue with a black belly and it had white stripe on it’s back. It’s eyes were bright green, one had two small brown spots. Evan frowned, he’s so invisible that no one besides this snake would find him.  
That’s when Evan decided he’d have to get himself to the hospital. Evan moved to get up the snake let out an angry hiss at Evan it’s pupils narrowing. Evan tried again the snake let out a not very snake like growl. Then the snake roared showing a pair of wings and a barbed tail. It was not a snake, it was a dragon. 


	2. Prologue pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pt. 2 of the prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update I had to re write this a few times. I was too lazy to edit it too  
> TW(s):suicidal thoughts. If there's anything else let me know

Evan fought back the urge to scream. This is not posable, dragons aren’t real, maybe he succeeded with killing himself and this was what death was like, or he hit hit his head and he was in a coma or dreaming. Evan pushed down on his bad arm, wincing at the pain. He wasn’t dreaming or dead. He tried for the third time to get up , the dragon slid off of his chest. Evan got up stared at the tree. His phone heavy in his pocket. He could call his mom but she was on her shift which meant he would have to call the hospital to leave his mom a message. Which means he has talk to a random nurse, or whoever answers the phone, who he’d have to tell what happened.They’d tell Hedi or they might think it’s stupid and laugh at him for breaking his arm and failing at dying- A chirp brought Evan back from his anxious thoughts. The dragon was wrapped around Evan’s leg. Evan gently pried the dragon off of his leg. The dragon look at him like it was annoyed and climbed back onto Evan’s leg. This repeated a few times. Finally the dragon stayed on the ground. Evan looked at the tree wondering if he should try again. Evan shook off the thoughts and picked up his backpack. Then he started the trek to the ranger station. When he got to the small station his boss of sorts, Mrs Simmons was at her desk typing something on a computer 

“Hey Evan.” she said not looking up

“H-hey m-mrs s-simmons.I-I t-think I-I broke my a-arm.I-I d-don’t k-know f-for s-sure. C-can y-you d-drive m-me t-to a b-bus s-stop ” 

“ Oh” She said looking at Evan’s arm “ are you ok. uh do you want me to drive you to the hospital instead of the bus s-”

“N-no. s-s-sorry. T-the b-bus s-stop i-is f-fine. Y-y-you a-are t-the o-only o-one h-here t-today a-and i-it w-will t-t-take a w-while t-to g-get m-me t-to t-the h-hospital. I-I’m o-ok.”

“ Uh ok,” She said as she took a set of keys “ I’ll take you to the bus stop outside the park if that’s what 

Evan nodded and followed his boss as she walked to a car. As she said she dropped Evan at the bus stop outside of the park. As they got there the a bus was already there. When Evan got on the driver gave him a look of concern. 

That’s when he decided to look at his arm, it was bent at a weird angel and was swelling. Yep definitely broken. The bus was full with no seats open. He could survive holding on to a bar for the short ride. As he was walking down the aisle a woman with black hair and pale skin stood up. She moved out her seat probably seeing Evan’s arm. 

“ you can have my seat.” The woman said

 

Evan quickly muttered “Thank you” 

Evan sat down and turned on his phone. 

2:30 

By the time he was at the hospital his mom would be on break. Evan wanted to text her, letting her know what happened. 

Evan: Hey mom I was climbing a tree and I jumped from it. I’m ok just a broken arm. I’m on the bus to the hospital right now see you then |

Before Evan hit send he realized if he told his mom he jumped from the tree it would break her. In this case it would be better to lie. 

Evan: Hey mom I was climbing a tree and the branch broke. I’m ok just a broken arm. I’m on the bus to the hospital right now see you then

Message Sent

Evan spent the bus ride with his earbuds in trying to hold back tears from both what happened and the pain from his arm. As Evan got off of the bus at the hospital his mom texted back.

Mom: Meet me in the lobby I’m omw. I’m glad it was just a broken arm you could have died.

I wish I had. Evan bitterly thought. Tears started forming in his eyes.

Evan walked into the lobby seeing his mom.

 

Two hours later Evan was out of the hospital with a white cast. His mom still had to compete her shift. She asked Evan if he wanted to stay. Evan declined tired of holding in the tears. 

When Evan got home. He climbed on to his bed and let out all the tears he held in. As the tears stopped Evan noticed the dragon at the tree was wrapped around his good arm. it’s eyes closed like it was sleeping. Evan would of pried the dragon off and screamed about the fact it was in his house but he didn’t have the strength. Evan watched the steady rise and fall of the dragon’s chest. Starting to feeling his eyes close and he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started a blog for the story! So if you want to see art, updates about the stoy and more go heere  
> https://jacarandatreesanfic.tumblr.com/


	3. author's note

The next chapter will be here in a few days! Sorry that it took so long I've been busy.


	4. The first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan goes to school, shit happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is finally here! Life has been chaotic and I started high school. Today in economics I took a quiz and the teacher reversed the grading system (if you got an A normally it would be an F) I got an F in the reversed grades. Then she acted like she was going to put it in the grade book. That was fun.   
> Anyways on to the story, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> TWs: Suicidal thoughts (there is also some strong language though i'm not sure if it counts)

Evan woke up to his alarm. At first, he was confused why, did he accidentally set it, or did he have an early therapy appointment? He dismissed it as the former and turned it off. He was about to drift back to sleep when a small roar pierced his ears. Evan jumped up.  
In the months after falling out of the tree Evan and the dragon, who he named Jacaranda (Jac for short), had formed a close bond. Jac reminds Evan to take his anxiety meds and write therapy letters. He calms Evan down when has a panic attack or his anxiety is worse, or in this case wake him up for school. Also in that time Jac’s personality and expressions have become strangely human. 

“Jacaranda don’t do that.” Evan scolded the small dragon, who was laughing.

Seeing Jac laugh caused Evan to let out a small laugh. The laughter ended when Evan realized it was the first day of senior year. His thoughts filled with all of the bad things that could happen in the day: A teacher calling on him, accidentally saying “here” too loud, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a panic attack in the middle of class and everybody laughing at such a failure he is.

“I should have climbed higher” Evan mumbled

Jac perked his ears. Wait, ears. Last night he didn't have ears. I didn’t matter that much, since about every week the dragon would gain a new body part. Last week Jac grew and additional set of wings, the week before he gained a set of small horns.  
Evan sat up and reached for his laptop and opened two documents. In one called jacaranda trees that was filled with the things he noticed about the dragon , and he typed 

August 16: Jac now has ears 

Jac saw Evan wasn’t writing his letter and nudged him

“Ok buddy I’ll work on today's letter,” Evan mumbled closing jacaranda trees and opened the other document Therapy letters. He tossed his blankets off sitting at the edge of his bed. He began to type 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Today’s going to be a good day here's why 

He stopped there. Instead of thinking of how good his day would be his mind spiraled back to how the day, week and year would be miserable. You should have climbed higher. You should have tried again. Evan felt Jac wrap around his arm. Evan rubbed the bottom of Jac’s head causing Jac to make a purring noise bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Thanks, buddy,” Evan whispered 

Jac looked at the mostly empty document and looked back at Evan. A look that said are you sure you are working on it

“I’ll write it at school, ok?”

Jac nodded

Evan heard footsteps in the hall coming closer to his room. Shit. Jac looked at Evan before climbing the side of the bed curling up in the flower pot he hid in. 

Heidi opened his door and sat next to him 

“ Good morning sweetie.” Heidi kissed Evan’s forehead,” Did you start a letter? Dear Evan Hansen today’s going to be a good day here’s why.”

“Yes, I started one.”

“ Good, it will help boost your confidence.”

Evan shrugged

“ Oh! How about you can ask the other kids to sign your cast. How about that?”

“Perfect” Why would anyone sign my cast? 

“ Remember you have a therapy appointment after school. Jared will pick you up so don’t walk home.”

Evan nodded.

“ I have to go. Love you, sweetie. Have an amazing first day.” She kissed Evan again and left his room.

Evan waited for the sound of the door closing before moving from where he sat. He replaced his baggy gray “ Enjoy your local National forest” shirt and Christmas tree pants with one of his trademark blue striped polos and khakis. He quickly styled his hair and walked downstairs.

He poured a bowl of cereal and ate as much as he could before feeling nauseous. Then he finished up his morning routine before starting the walk to his school. He lived close enough to school so he walked most of the time. The only time Even gets a ride to school is when it’s snowing. 

Evan put his earbuds in yelled that he was leaving to Jac and started the walk to school. His neighborhood was on top of a hill with another neighborhood beneath it, the school was at the edge of a park in the second neighborhood. The walk from his neighborhood to the second was the easiest part since there was no one else walking from where he was at, in other words, there was no one to judge him. The second part of the walk was the worst. It was in the second neighborhood where more kids joined the walk to school. The number of others was too few for him to get lost in the crowd that made him normally unseen. Evan always felt invisible eyes on him judging his every move at that part of the walk. Evan turned up the volume hoping the music numb the world around him and the feeling of being watched. It didn’t. Evan started walking faster after he cleared the block he reached the third part of the walk.

A large field that was apart of the park behind the school. A chain link fence at the end marking the property of the large high school. At that point everyone separated out across the large feld and the sidewalk by it dulling the feeling of being watched. Evan only sighed when his shoes got wet from a puddle hidden in the grass.After stepping in puddles two more times, Evan made it to the opening in the fence and walked through the parking lot. When Evan started highschool he hated walking through the parking lot due to the chance of getting hit by a car, but he didn’t mind now, partly because it was faster and a part of him wanted to get hit by a car.   
Evan finally made it to the inside of the building. Students crowded the hallway probably talking about how awesome their summers were, leaving Evan unnoticed as he walked by. Evan accidentally ran into a girl in a gray hoodie. She glared at him with bright blue eyes that looked dead. Evan yelped running to his locker where Jared was waiting 

“ How’d you break your arm? Let me guess you broke it jacking off to Zoe Murphy?”

“ W-what?! No, Jared, I d-did not!” Evan whisper yelled

His crush on Zoe was gone. After he jumped- no, fell from the tree he just wanted to be friends with her at most.

“How did you break it then?”

“I-I fell f-from a tree.” Evan explained his stutter getting worse from the memory,”I-i was c-climbing a tree a b-branch b-broke a-and I-I f-fell.” 

“ Whatever you say, tree nerd. Anyways if my parents ask if I hung out with you during the summer say yes and we had a great time hanging out ”

Evan nodded. Jared’s words stinging and reminding him they were never real friends.

That’s when Connor Murphy Walked by. His long brown hair hung at his shoulders. He was pale like he hasn't been in the sun for the entire summer. Dark shadows were under his blue eyes which were a little red like was high. Connor was wearing a black vest with a dark gray shirt underneath, a green messenger bag hung from his shoulders. Evan always wanted to talk to him and get to know him because he is alone like him but his social anxiety had other plans. 

Jared grinned at Connor. Evan knew what would happen next and didn’t have time to stop Jared from yelling  
“ Hey, Connor like the new hair length, very school shooter chic!”

Evan winced. A group of nearby kids laughed as Connor turned towards them anger in his eyes

“ It was just a joke.” Jared piped up

“Yeah, it was funny. I’m laughing can’t you tell?” Connor's fist were now clenched, ‘ Am I not laughing hard enough for you?”

“You’re a freak.” Jared laughed as he walked away.

Evan wanted to say I’m sorry about Jared but what came out was a nervous laugh

“ What are you laughing at?” Connor growled 

“W-what?” Evan asked confused 

“Stop fucking laughing at me.”

“I-I’m not”

“ You think I’m a freak.”

“N-no I d-don’t-” 

“I’m not the freak-”

“B-but I w-wasn’t-”

“You’re the fucking freak!” Connor shouted 

He shoved Evan with all his strength and ran off. Evan winced rubbing his future bruised elbow and got up walking to his first hour, fighting tears from being called a freak, because it was true (what person has a dragon as their only friend). He spent the rest of the day struggling through his classes trying not to have a panic attack. At the end of the day he went to the computer lab to type his letter for his appointment. 

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today’s going to be a good day here’s why |

Evan sighed screw this 

Today’s not going to be a good day. At this rate it won’t be a good week or year. Jared is still using me for car insurance, no one talked to me, and Zoe still doesn’t know I exist. Most importantly I ruined any chances at becoming friends with Connor Murphy. I hoped I would finally get to talk to him but I blew it. Now I can only hope that in the future at least someone would know I’m here and I’m alone. All of my hope was pinned on Connor. I guess I don’t have much hope left. I keep thinking, If I died when that branch broke would anyone care? If I died would I just disappear?

Sincerely,  
Me

 

Evan hit print and sighed not hearing the door open.  
“ So how’d you break your arm.” Evan jumped, it was Connor.

He was standing in the doorway his arms crossed 

“ I f-fell from a t-tree.” Evan’s face turned bright red 

“ That’s one of the saddest fucking things I’ve ever heard.”

“ I know.” Evan looked down in embrasement

“ Can I sign it?”

“ huh?”

“ Your cast.”

“S-sure if you want to.”

“Do you have a sharpie.”

Evan nodded and handed him a black sharpie. Connor took Evan’s arm roughly, causing the latter to wince, and worte CONNOR in big letters taking up the entire cast.

“ Uh.. Thanks?” Evan weakly smiled

“ No problem. Uh “ Connor paused for a moment “ I’m sorry for earlier.”

“I-it’s o-okay.” 

Connor then grabbed the letter off of the printer. Evan’s small smile faded

“ Dear Evan Hansen. This is yours, right?

Evan nodded

A look of confusion and angor worked its way across Connor’s face. Connor was reading his letter. 

“ Why is Zoe’s and my name in your fucking letter?” Connor growled

“ I-I-it-” 

“ What is your fucking problem Hansen!” Connor yelled

“ i-i-im s-”

“ Fuck you freak!” Connor ran out the lab, Evan’s letter in hand.

Evan sat there watching still and helpless as Connor, and his letter became farther away.   
Only when Connor was long gone Evan started to move. He walked out of the doors of the school once he was free he ran home as fast as he could fighting tears. He decided at that he was not going to therapy. Therapy was not important to Evan at the moment, Connor had his letter and he could do serious damage with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Evan's walk to school is based on my walk to school.   
> I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! It was so fun to write
> 
> Until next time
> 
> -Strike


	5. Update

I'm sorry that I haven't been updating this story much. High school is chaotic to say the least. In that time I decided to rewrite Jacaranda Trees! After I saw the show and read the novel I figured this story needs to be changed. I'm almost done with the first two chapters so the rewrite will be posted soon!   
-Nox

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please leave comments! I want to improve my writing! 
> 
> Also if anyone has tips on how to not abandon works let me know!
> 
> until next chapter
> 
> -Strike


End file.
